WARNING: RANT AHEAD!
Of the many issues that never cease to get on my nerves are women who complain about things they are not willing to do anything about. Examples?
My friend’s husband is literally a big baby. He comes him from work, drops his briefcase on the floor, takes off his clothes and leaves them strewn across the bedroom floor, eats and does not bother cleaning up after himself, and does not lend a hand in any of the work his wife does around the house. She has a full time job, too, and they live alone in their two bedroom apartment with no help.
She complains about his actions constantly. I am reluctant to answer the phone because I know all I’m going to get is complaints about her husband’s actions. When I tell her to confront him gently, she refuses. Tell him that he is a grown up and can hang up his clothes or throw them in the laundry basket when he comes home. Tell him to help you with the dishes. Tell him to make sure his own clothes are ready the night before work; it’s not your problem if his ghutra is not ironed.
Her response? “Fashla,” “3aib,” and “magi.” Seriously? Then stop complaining about it! You’re making your husband look bad. All your friends probably hate him by now because of how bad you make him look. This is your husband. You’re going to be living with him for the rest of your life, inshallah. Why do this? How would you like it if you go out on a double date and your friend’s husband says something like, “at least I hang my clothes when I take them off” or a similar remark? How do you think he would feel? There is no fashla and 3aib between a husband and his wife.
Girls, stop complaining about being single. Society does not hate you for being single. You are not shunned because you are single. You are not unsuccessful because you are single. If that’s how you see it, then you are the one with issues not society. Celebrate yourself and shut up!
Wives, stop judging your in laws. Be nice. Set boundaries if you do not want to be best buddies with them, but do not make assumptions and badmouth them to the whole world.
I was sitting in a gathering with friends that I have not seen in such a long time. It was more of a reunion. One of the girls had gotten married and was pregnant. She does not live with her in laws and was telling us how they do not have any manners just because they call and ask how she is everyday, invite themselves over so that they can see her bearing cake and gifts, and ask her if she would like them to send their housemate to help her in cleaning the apartment. I mean, come on! That sounds like a really nice family to have for in laws. They just want to be nice. No, you do not know that they think you are not san3a because they called you before you called them. No, you do not know that they did invited themselves over because they want to see if you are doing a good job at keeping the apartment clean. No, you did not know that they believe that you cannot afford a housemate or cannot ask your family for theirs. They are just being nice. Give them a chance.
Guess what? Even if they are horrible people, stop badmouthing them. They are going to be your children’s grandparents, aunts, and uncles! You’re ruining your children’s family’s reputation.