Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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I love shoes. I buy a lot of shoes. I need to stop buying shoes. Not working. I bought new shoes a few days ago. Not good. Shoe incidents?

Found these amazing heels, tried them on, walked around in them for around thirty minutes, and reserved them. I needed my friend to stop me, but she was kind of soft about it, not very harsh and demanding. So, I thought I’d call N. He’d stop me for sure, right? I mean, he knows how many shoes I have! Meanwhile, I went to another store and did clothes shopping. When N. finally calls, he just plainly and simply tells me that I can get the shoes if I want. If I want? Of course I want! So, I got them.

Incident where people actually try to stop me?

My friend and I walk into Carolina Herrera. Instead of looking at the clothes and a bag to buy my mom as a gift, which is the main reason I’m there, I go to the shoes section. I didn’t like anything, but then.. I saw these beautiful metallic brown leopard print peep toes. I tried them on, and they were even more gorgeous on my feet. But then.. my friend comes and tries to get me not to buy the shoes. She comes between the shoes and I.

Sushi: I thought you didn’t want to buy anymore..

Moi: Etha mu 3ajbech, 6el3ay bara elma7al!

See? It doesn’t work when people try to stop me either. So, shel7al?! Should I never go shopping again? Sigh! I love my heels, all of them! And I totally wouldn’t mind adding to the collection. But I do realize that I need to stop. So, as of the last period in this post, I will try and do my very best to not by heels for at least the next month. This would officially be the last period of this post.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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Lately, I’ve been surrounded by people in strange relationships, and so I decided to vent here.

One person in the relationship leads a more liberal lifestyle and the other is more traditional, so they argue about everything. That’s not right people. You probably knew this about each other before you got married. It intensified when you got married, but so what?! Talk about it, discuss things, and agree to disagree.  Why all the yelling and dragging your families and friends into it? This is your life together, and some things should be kept between the two of you. One does not have to change/dominate the other.

Girls, if your man is abusing you, whether verbally, emotionally, or physically, drop him! Khalas, do not go to your friends crying and saying that you hate him and then say that you can’t leave him because you love him! Athaitoona! We’re trying to look out for you! Either take the advice you came for seriously, or don’t come to us at all. You know we’re right, and you know your relationship isn’t heading anywhere. So deal with it in a way that’s best for you. We can’t tell you what or what not to do. This is your relationship, your life, and your future.

A point for the new wifies who have been coming to me and telling me that their husbands have their headsets on their heads and laptops on their laps during lunch and other quality time you’re supposed to spend together, yank them off of him. Demand the attention. You deserve it. Why are you letting him ignore your existence and belittle your time together? And guess what? He doesn’t realize he’s doing anything that hurts your feelings because you’re not pointing it out!

On cheating.. Here it is: if you would not be okay with your spouse, partner, companion, etc. if s/he were doing what you’re doing, then don’t do it! If you’re thinking about someone else in a way you shouldn’t be, it’s cheating. Flirty text messages, e-mails, phone calls, etc. are cheating. Inappropriate feelings are cheating. It does not have to be physical. And NO, they’re not JUST messages or phone calls or feelings because they lead to other more serious things!

When I decide to be open for therapy sessions, I’ll let you know.

There!

P.S. I’m venting, v e n t i n g, venting. This is not me telling people what to do. It’s a rush of raw emotions. If you don’t get that, your comment will be ignored. Bite me.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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Here’s what I just discussed with my husband, mother-in-law, and father-in-law:

One of our relatives was in the hospital for four days during this past week.

While he was there, a nurse came to inject him with a syringe that was not even for him. He told her to check and then told her off.

While he was there, he got ten kinds of medication on a tray that would have led to his death and had he not explained to the nurse that he does not take them and had her go check again and again and again, she probably would have killed him.

But, while he was there, something happened to top it all off and made the above seem like tiny mistakes..

Two doctors in the room our man is in, assuming that our respectable man does not understand nor speak any English; one says the following to the other:

“He’s old. Give him anything. He’s going to die anyway.”

After an educational fair, my husband and I went to the valet and gave him our voucher so that he gets our car. Instead, he took the money and pointed in the direction of the car. When we asked him to do more, he poured out some insolence. Needless to say, we took care of it.

While touring Madame Tussaud’s in London, a couple of Kuwaiti girls decided they were too good to wait in line to take their pictures. When I stared at them and explained that there’s a line and took my rightful turn, they stood around calling out things like “WAI3!” and “HAILEGEYA.” Nice, huh? They blocked our way, and we walked right past them. Soon enough, one of the girls comes with her father. She brought him to tell me off. I calmly made sure that he understood that there is no way in hell I was going to get told off for his rude daughter’s doings and walked away.

Then I came upstairs to write this blog post, and I found a comment on my previous post from the level of insolence mentioned above. I feel sorry for the person who wrote it.

Let’s all have a moment of silence to pity all those who were just like the inconsiderate people mentioned in this post and hope that they get over their psychological misguidance.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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RANDOMANIA:

What happened the past month or so..

I’m 21 now, and I had the awesome-est surprise birthday dinner. Thank you, baby;*

I started my own business, it’s going well, and I love it. My brain cells are reviving.. Yay!

I bought shoes even though I said I would stop. Sigh.

I watched Avatar and thought it was overrated. The graphics are great, yes, but the story is too much of a cliche. Pocahontas, much?

Private Practice

Got celebrated for my genius by KU.. Surprising?

Gained weight

Thinking of rejoining the gym and spinning but no car..

Finally got done with the Literature Festival bookings!

Got a haircut

Read this article, was going to post a long post about it, but decided against it.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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It’s getting harder by the minute to be jobless and bored all the time. Yes, I watch stuff on my laptop, add things to my iPod, read, maintain my weight, take care of my skin and hair, keep up with fashion news, and all that stuff. I even learned to make pasta in pink sauce, a couple of desserts, and stuff like that. But really? What else is there? I’m becoming shallow and superficial as my brain cells rot then die. So, I thought of starting up something of my own. I’m not all that sure of how it’s going to work out, but I have a talent I really want to put to good use.

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I love my sis-in-laws three sons. They’re the most amazing company one could ask for. Besides drawing and posting their own work on our fridge, they have a lot of funny conversations with us and with everyone around them. Examples?

Their friend: *talking into a toy walkie talkie* Call the police. Call the police.

Son II: Shut up! I’m Power Ranger Red!

Son I: La meta ma toldeen?

Me: Ana mu 7amel 3ashan olad!

Son I: Ee, la meta?

Me: Madry, enta al7een sh3alaik meni?

Son I: Nabi y9eer 3endina cousin!

Me: Right, w etha yebt baby bet6egouna wela tel3eboun weya?

Son II (notice that he’s been quiet all along except to answer this question): Ben6ega! *realizes that was very wrong* Aaammm Aaamm.. Nel3ab weya! *big grin*

Son III just started talking and said my name right after “Mama” and “Baba.” So, when he saw N. taking our luggage to the car for a short trip he panicked and yelled, “WAIN AYTA?!”

<3

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I realize this is a very random post, and to add to that, any diet recommendations?

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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2009

Wedding reception Honeymoon in Austria EAIFL Dubai Road trip to Bahrain BA in English Literature Trip to London Redecorated our place Books Job interviews Unemployment MA applications New friends New laptop And of course.. New shoes <3 A revived love for fashion Spiritual cleansing Mental development Refined emotions Writing.. lots of writing Enlightening Sex and The City marathon An appreciation for being broke HAJS

And last but not least..

A GROWING LOVE FOR N. <3

2010

?

?

?

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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I got this broadcast on my BlackBerry this morning:

“MassCreation would like to invite you to watch our interview on Al-watan TV. Abdullah Al-sunosee and Jasem Burhahma with great announcer Salman Al-njady in Taw Alail at 10:30pm 29/12/2009″

And I thought.. Why not give my friend’s recently founded business a little more exposure? While Abullah got lucky and was accepted to major in Mass Communication, Jasem got stuck with an English major. However, that didn’t stop him from co-founding a business with his friend and coming up with impressive videos and designs proving that the Mass Communication major lost his talent. Their work and contact information can be found on their website: http://www.masscreation.net/

Check out their website, watch the interview, and give feedback under this post.

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On a different note,

We still don’t have plans for New Year’s Eve. Any fun suggestions?

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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SCENE 1

Setting:

Day 5 of Film Week. Theatre seats. Discussion after the film, The Namesake.

Girl raises hand and receives microphone. After a long introduction, she says something along the lines of, “… however, my question is, I can understand why the Indian boy he falls in love with the American girl, you know, because she is blonde and White.. but why does she does that? Why does she fall in love with the Indian boy? He is Indian.”

African-American man and Asian-American man in the seats in front of us are offended.

Host asks if anyone wants to answer the girl’s question. Guy raises hand and is handed the microphone. His answer? “Because he is not really Indian. He was born in American and lived his whole life there. It’s not like he was born in India and lived half his life there before coming to America.”

Great answer. Couldn’t have said it any better.

SCENE 2

Setting:

Lunch invitation. The sun has set. Great company. Great weather.

Discussion revolves around heels and whether or not they are unhealthy. Personally, I can’t live without them. I don’t care much for risks that are unlikely. Example used to develop the argument is smoking. I say that I am not for or against smoking.

Reaction? *GASP* “Ana kent a7ebich gabel la etgouleen hal kelma.”

I explain that I don’t care much for smoking. If a loved one decides to smoke, I would advise them but only because I care for them and not because of whatever act it is that is harming them.

My argument is refused. It is a shade of grey. I never realized I had to make it either black or white for it to be accepted.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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In the passenger seat of the car, the driver seat taken by the love of her life, she sits exhausted. She shares silences with him and bits and pieces of random conversation when her eyes are open, but when her eyes are closed, even gently, she finds herself taken back into her past – which is several years back and several hours back all at different moments.

She remembers eating two massive stuffed black mushrooms at Gaucho Grill across from one of her favorite people in the world. She remembers talking about a book. What was it? Reading Lolita in Tehran. She remembers laughing so hard at something A said that she tripped in her new metallic gold heels on her way out. And she remembers telling the valet to read the book. Her eyes open.

They are about to go under a bridge. She tells her loved one about her days at the library. How she decided to dress down and kick back. From covering up to stripping down. From sitting on a chair to sitting on the tiles under a window. From heated discussion to silent reading. The gradual descend to this comfort created a strong bond. She loves him so much it hurts. That’s how she described it to her companion in the driver’s seat. In this case, she understood that phrase. Because that’s exactly how it felt. She closes her eyes again.

She remembers watching herself sitting on a window sill waving to her elder brother as he walked out of the fences of their mansion. Her eyes open as the car slows down. Something interrupts this flashback. There is an accident on the road. A man lying on the gravel. Neck and chest area covered in blood. She remembers another accident. She tells her companion about it. She can see it with her eyes open. A bus smashes into/runs over around a dozen motorcycles. The next morning, she wakes up in the foreign country. Picks up the foreign newspaper from outside her hotel room, and sees the picture. She cuts it out and puts it in her notebook. She recalls that she cried. She can’t really remember why.

She believes today is a good day. She read 147 pages of a good book, texted back and forth with T, discussed the pages she read, had good food, and a strange car ride home. And he was with her all along. That’s what matters. One more thing would make this day an even better one..

She reaches home and decides to write this very post. A post about that strange between the worlds-car-ride. She opens up her laptop, places it on her lap, and types away effortlessly..

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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Yes, I’ll save you the excuses. I’ve been bored, unemployed, and sick. Yay?

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Proof that I will be a bad mother:

I went to Johnny Rockets with The Hubsand, my sister-in-law, her husband, and their two kids. We decided to sit outside because the weather was great, cool breeze and all. We ordered, our food came, and we started eating. All was going perfectly well when two slinky cats show up. The younger of the two kids stands on the chair and starts crying because he’s scared of the cats. In attempt to get him to sit down and understand that there’s no point in him standing on a chair and falling off if the cat gets close and he panics, what did the Amethyst say?

“Sh7aga wagef 3ala elkersi?! Ya3ni ma tadri ena elga6wa tegdar etne6 3alaik?!”

“Why are you standing on the chair?! Don’t you know that the cat can jump high enough to reach you?!”

Of course, the kid freaked out more and started screaming loudly for us to take him home. I mean, really? Did I have to say that? Where’s the logic? It scared the shit out of him! Sigh..

One of the waiters dedicated himself to shooing away the cats when they got close, but it was no use. I’m just glad he slept without any nightmares.

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Happy Birthday, HAJ! Hope you enjoyed your birthday picnic;*

Happy Birthday, Hussain! <3